schmiss: (' saving days)
schmiss ([personal profile] schmiss) wrote2010-04-27 04:16 pm
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It doesn't matter who we were...

I wrote on Tumblr that I would probably not finish my Lost gender-flip spam in time to post it on [livejournal.com profile] picspammy, but I got it done anyway! \o/ I hope everyone enjoys it. It's pretty straightforward, my only real guideline was that I wanted to pick actors/actresses who were at least somewhat likely to appear on a TV show, although I did stretch that rule a little when there were picks I didn't want to change.

Otherwise, I played fast and loose with age, race, and physical resemblence. I wanted to choose someone who would do justice rather to the character instead of someone who had a physical resemblance but didn't fit the character. Which brings me to why there's no Eko. I didn't know any African actresses and I didn't want to just Google "Nigerian actresses" and stick one of my favorite characters with someone whose talent I can't judge, so... in imaginary!Lost we'll just say there's an open casting call for that role.

I hope you guys enjoy!



Molly Parker as Jackie Shephard

"Everybody wants me to be a leader until I make a decision they don't like."



Simple enough. Great actress who could pull off the lead role with aplomb.


Jamie Bamber as Chris Austen

"Here we go again, huh?"



This was difficult. It's hard to put a finger on what makes Kate Kate. I settled on Bamber because he can play emotional as well as badass.


Christina Hendricks as Jane Ford

"There's a new sherrif in town, girls. I suggest y'all get used to it."



Christina Hendricks with a southern accent, swinging a gun around, being sarcastic and self-destructive, wearing half-buttoned blue shirts. Enough said.


Mary McDonnell as Joanne Locke

"I've looked into the eye of the island, and what I saw was beautiful."



Locke and Roslin (especially season 2 Roslin) are quite similar in many ways, and I think she'd get what makes Locke such a vital character to the show.


Joan Allen as Beatrice Linus

"If you mean time travelling bunnies, then yes."



Talk about tough shoes to step into. I figure Allen's Beatrice wouldn't be the same as Emerson's Ben, but would be equally engrossing as Lost's most morally gray character.


Jon Hamm as Julian Burke

"The last thing either of you need right now is more blood on your hands."



So much of Juliet is wrapped up in Elizabeth Mitchell's performance. Hamm can bring that same range: from emotional to restrained to pitiful to forceful. (LOL I just realized this would mean Don shacking up with Joan in season 5. Total coincidence.) And, well, yeah. With Mr. Hamm, I know that my favorite character would continue to be my favorite character, gender-flipping aside.


Shohreh Aghdashloo as Saida Jarrah

"Part of my training entailed getting the enemy to communicate."



Yes she's a bit older than Sayid but I had to include her. Just imagine her giving the epic "I am a torturer" speech and you'll know what I mean.


Gaborey Sidibe as Hannah Reyes

"I wanna do a cannonball. I've been walking up and down this beach every day and looking out at this water. And I wanna do a cannonball."



We already know she can be damn funny. I kept the last name cause eh, she could have a Hispanic family.


Rose Byrne as Desdemona Hume

"I have to get my honor back. That's what I'm running to."



Wrong accent, I know. :P


Tony Leung as Xuan Zhuang

"You and I have common interests."



I made Jin & Sun Chinese because I liked the actors. Guilty as charged. :D


Gong Li as Xuan Zhi

"I have to go because I'm going to save you."



Like I said. I love these two, separately and together.


Isild le Besco as Danielle Faraday

"I can make time."



The first casting I picked. She's an extremely talented actress, I'm just waiting for the day she breaks through to the American art film world.


Rinko Kikuchi as Mai Straume

"May I eat these peanuts?"



eeeee you guys how great of a Miles would she be. Answer: SO GREAT. "That douche is my mom."


James McAvoy as Clive Lewis

"Don't let them bring him back. No matter what - don't let them bring him back! This place is death!"



ahaha I know, way too famous to appear on network TV. Also from a glance at the other casting picspams he seems to figure in everyone else's fantasy casts: poor guy, gonna get worn out. But I thought he would make a good fit here.


Paula Malcolmsen as Florence Lapidus

"We're not going to Guam, are we?"



Technically she had a small role in Lost ("The Glass Ballerina"), but since that was gonna be gender-flipped along with everyone else, might as well cast her elsewhere!


Idris Elba as Reed Littleton

"Peanut butter. Why do I remember peanut butter?"



I know what you're saying. I switched out the cute little blonde for Stringer Bell?!?! But hear me out on this. He can play sensitive and good-natured, as well as crazy evil and unpredictable. And no, there will be no mpreg. We'll say that he flew to Australia to pick up the daughter his wife was putting up for adoption.


Anna Friel as Shirley Pace

"Polar bears are meant to be clever, quite clever. They're like the Einsteins of the bear community."



She would be very funny and, dare I say... likable in this role. (Sorry. Never a Charlie fan.)


Carlos Bernard as Andy Cortez

"When I say move, you move. When I say stop, you stop. When I say jump, what do you say?"



TONYYYYYYY. Michelle Rodriguez was sort of polarizing as Ana Lucia, but who doesn't love Tony?


Nick Stahl as Lee Smith

"You don't remember me, do you?"



um... have fun getting fridged and then coming back and being crazy but not really.


Penny Johnson Jerald as Mikalah Dawson

"They took my daughter!"



HAHA oh dear let's pretend alt-Lost is going to have a better plotline for poor Mikalah, cause ouch.


Amanda Seyfried as Bonnie Carlyle

"Have you been using that wacky paste stuff that made me see my brother get eaten?"



Both pretty-eyed young things, both totally doomed.


Taylor Kitsch as Shane Rutheford

"What's a four letter word for 'I don't care'?"



Kitsch so often plays the rugged bad boy, it would be fun to see him play the stuck-up himbo (who turns out to have layers!) for once. Imagine the freakouts over his relationship with Saida. HAH.


Oded Fehr as Ilan Verdansky

"What lies in the shadow of the statue?"



Badass + badass. I struggled a lot until I remembered Fehr, I haven't seen him much since Sleeper Cell ended but he was quite good and disturbingly hot when you consider the subject matter and he'd make a good Ilan.


Reiko Aylesworth as Rachel Alpert

"I never want to die. I want to live forever."



A more out-there pick, and of course they'd have to change Richard's backstory since she isn't Spanish, but she's just as gorgeous as Nestor Carbonell and would bring justice to the enigmatic character with her tragic backstory. (Aylesworth also had a small part on the show, but we can assume that'd be recast as well.)


Asia Argento as the Woman in Black

"There's only one way to escape from Hell. You're going to have to kill the devil."



I already talked about this on Tumblr, so, yeah. ... I want to see the MiB/WiB hook up. >_>


Tilda Swinton as Esther

"It only ends once. Anything before that is just progress."



Maybe predictable? Maybe out there? (Hard to imagine Swinton doing network TV...) But just picture her as Jacob, mysterious, wisdom-imparting, totally stoned Jacob. Or Esther, as the case may be: I thought it was fitting for the character, and maybe the WiB's name can turn out to be Vashti.



Comments? Questions? Suggestions for supporting characters I didn't include? I welcome it all!

[identity profile] chrryblssmninja.livejournal.com 2010-04-28 05:15 am (UTC)(link)
SO BRILLIANT

[identity profile] ladycallie.livejournal.com 2010-04-28 05:23 am (UTC)(link)
And I thought there wasn't much else that I could like about LOST. Damn, this was perfect. Fantastic job!

[identity profile] fancyxthat.livejournal.com 2010-04-28 05:41 am (UTC)(link)
Rinko Kikuchi and Mary McDonnell are seriously so spot on I don't even know. And Joan Allen's eyes are so similar to Ben's, omg.

[identity profile] supersyncspaz7.livejournal.com 2010-04-28 06:02 am (UTC)(link)
HOT DAMN. This is amazing.

[identity profile] thelake.livejournal.com 2010-04-28 06:08 am (UTC)(link)


So going to pimp this!

[identity profile] lilypads.livejournal.com 2010-04-28 06:17 am (UTC)(link)
Wandered over from Tumblr to check this out. So much win!
Christina Hendricks as Jane Ford sounds like the best thing I have ever heard in my life. I want it to be true!

Also: Swinton as Esther. I could so see her being sage and epic all at once.

[identity profile] airings.livejournal.com 2010-04-28 06:19 am (UTC)(link)
TILDA. CHRISTINA. IDRIS!!

I LOVE YOU.

[identity profile] miss-atom.livejournal.com 2010-04-28 08:14 am (UTC)(link)
THIS WOULD BE FUCKING EXCELLENT. I WOULD WATCH IT SO HARD.

[identity profile] arie-turner.livejournal.com 2010-04-28 10:17 am (UTC)(link)
BAMBI AS CHRIS AUSTEN, ROSE BYRNE AS DESEMONA! OMG I'm in love with this entire cast ♥

[identity profile] whatdemydid.livejournal.com 2010-04-28 10:56 am (UTC)(link)
OMg this is awesome LOL LOL!!! Asia Argento for MIB is PERFECT!

[identity profile] glassbomb.livejournal.com 2010-04-28 10:56 am (UTC)(link)
THIS IS SO AWESOME. I love Rose Byrne as Desdemona Hume especially, because that just indicates that Desmond would still be my favorite gender-swapped. And Christina Hendricks as Jane Ford is totally inspired- judging by the role she played on Firefly she would be brilliant. Love love love love love

[identity profile] tihana.livejournal.com 2010-04-28 11:13 am (UTC)(link)
tonyyyyy leung ahh, be still my heart!!


that's all.
and i like tilda!

[identity profile] ringhsilven.livejournal.com 2010-04-28 12:04 pm (UTC)(link)
It's greate! I love it! :D

[identity profile] blindbeats.livejournal.com 2010-04-28 05:10 pm (UTC)(link)
OMG, HOLD ME!

Deadwood ladies ftw, Christina, I approve + Bambie... IC WHAT U DID THERE, MISSY! lol JOAN MOTHERFUCKING ALLEN, YES PLEASE. But my absolute favorite is Asia Argento because I have such a huge crush on her, you have no idea! Actually, imagining Titus and Asia.... *ovaries explode

Nick Stahl -sighs- Your version of Lost is so HBO, I love it!

ps. what about glenn close for Widmore and Timothy Oliphant for Penny?
ext_44710: (' monohymn)

[identity profile] schmiss.livejournal.com 2010-04-28 06:58 pm (UTC)(link)
HBO Lost would be my dream. Swearing and sex and hour-long episodes with more plot.
Titus and Asia need to star in something together. Specifically as evil spirits. cause yeah. It just works.

yes yes yes I love it!

[identity profile] miss-england-17.livejournal.com 2010-04-28 05:16 pm (UTC)(link)
Very good choices ! It would be a fun show to watch :D

[identity profile] myr-soleil.livejournal.com 2010-04-28 06:42 pm (UTC)(link)
The BSG and Mad Men folks are so perfect it hurts. Somehow thinking of Kate and Locke as Jamie and Mary made me like them way more, so good job there.
lookslikelove: (lost: a different day just like this one)

[personal profile] lookslikelove 2010-04-28 06:57 pm (UTC)(link)
GOOD GOD. I KIND OF LOVE IT AND IT IS AMAZING. END OF STORY.

[identity profile] endearlings.livejournal.com 2010-04-28 07:29 pm (UTC)(link)
omg this is AMAZING

[identity profile] aetenae.livejournal.com 2010-04-28 07:37 pm (UTC)(link)
Oh girl!!! I LOVE THIS. ESPECIALLY!!!

JON HAMM= JULIAN BURKE

Because you flip AWESOME FOR AWESOME.

[identity profile] midnight-27.livejournal.com 2010-04-28 09:32 pm (UTC)(link)
This is all kinds of amazing! Fantastic job :)

[identity profile] measuringcups.livejournal.com 2010-04-28 09:36 pm (UTC)(link)
I saw this on Tumblr and was like "I wonder who made this, OH OF COURSE [livejournal.com profile] schmiss!" I love it.

[identity profile] 5tilmidnight.livejournal.com 2010-04-28 10:55 pm (UTC)(link)
Omg this is awesome. Asia for MIB and Taylor for Shannon is particularly A++

[identity profile] sweet-iolanthe.livejournal.com 2010-04-28 11:00 pm (UTC)(link)
SO PRETTY. AND SO ORGASMIC. I CAN'T EVEN.
dear goodness. so much love. thank you thank you!

[identity profile] torigates.livejournal.com 2010-04-28 11:59 pm (UTC)(link)
Taylor Kitsch is a GENIUS cast. This whole thing is amazing! I love it!

[identity profile] zegeekgirl.livejournal.com 2010-04-29 02:09 am (UTC)(link)
I don't know you, but I love you forever for putting the image of Bamber and Hendricks shagging like bunnies in a cage in my head. LOVE YOU.

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